Nasty Musical Express
by orangesofsymmetry
Summary: Matt Bellamy and Dom Howard discuss NME Magazine. An attempt at Belldom fluff.


**Title: Nasty Musical Express**  
**Author: chargedfear**  
**Pairing: Belldom**  
**Rating: PG-13 for swearing.**  
**Warnings: Swearing.**  
**Summary: "NME? Those guys, huh? What do you think of them?"**  
**Disclaimer: This is just fiction, I don't own Muse. The idea is all mine. Extract taken from NME's review on The 2nd Law.**  
**AN: we all know that NME love to have a bit of a dig at people and can't generally write an article without slagging someone off. This is just a poor attempt at a fluffy...something. It has absolutely no plot, so don't get your hopes up.**

"What you doing there?" Matt asked Dom, casually walking over to where he was sat.

"Oh, nothing. Just faffing around."

"Yeah." Matt came and stood next to Dom as he 'faffed' on his laptop. "NME? Those guys, huh? What do you think of them?"

"They're okay." Dom said, shrugging casually and scrolling down the page.

"They're cunts." Matt said seriously, frowning at the screen of the laptop.

"Mark's nice."

"Beaumont?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

"You don't think so?"

"Yeah. No. Maybe." He paused. "He's okay."

"He wrote a book about us." Dom said, looking up from the screen.

"He did?"

"Yeah. Called us boring."

"And you know this how?"

Dom's eyes went back to the screen. "The fans. I had to sign one, once."

"Yeah. How was that?"

"It was like signing a book." He looked at Matt again. "It's a fucking big book."

"He probably made half of the shit up."

"Yeah. True." Dom's brow furrowed and he looked up at Matt yet again. "There's an article about us. Should I read it?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "No... Yes." He peeped over Dom's shoulder at the article. "What do they say?"

"They gave us an eight out of ten, then start slagging us off." He paused to read some more. "Bloody hell, they're really getting into it. 'But that the overblown catastrophe of 'Survival' came from Muse – not only one of our finest bands, but one who, despite their sci-fi scale, always marked themselves out with heroic senses of humanity and melody – felt like a final insult after the misfire that was 2009's 'The Resistance'.'" He read. "Shit, that's harsh."

Matt pouted. "Told you they were cunts." He frowned more. "What's wrong with 'Survival'? I like 'Survival'."

"For once, I'm agreeing with you. They can go fuck themselves."

"Agreed." Matt said, sitting down next to Dom. "They called us melodic, at least. I think we just got payed a compliment by NME. This is a big moment for us." A thoughtful expression clouded the singer's features, then slowly warped into disbelief. "I've only just noticed what they said! 'The Resistance' wasn't a misfire! It's one of our best!"

Dom shrugged. "Don't know if I'd agree with you on that one, mate. It was better than 'Showbiz'."

Matt hummed his agreement. "It was better than 'Showbiz'."

Dom laughed quietly. "Most things are." He muttered, and shuffled closer to Matt. "Especially you."

Matt blushed and rested his head on Dom's shoulder. "I'm not sure I can agree with that. I was the dickhead that wrote that album."

Dom's fingers lifted Matt's chin up. "Nasty Musical Express." Dom said, then pressed a small kiss to his lips.

Matt giggled. "That's a bit shit. Doesn't quite live up to Tom's 'NBC = No Brained Cocks' gag."

"You try coming up with an insult that begins with 'E'." Dom said, giving Matt a playful punch to the arm.

Matt paused and stared at the screen for a few minutes, trying and failing to think of an insult. "You're a stubborn bitch, you know?" Matt said after a while. "With the worst jokes."

"You still love me, though."

Matt looked at him and nodded, putting a small peck on his lips. "Hmm, I guess I do." Dom's face went from serene to angry in seconds. "Is that really your fake angry face?"

"Yeah. What's wrong with it?"

"You look like a cow on steroids, mate. It needs work."

Another punch was delivered to Matt's arm. "That's harsh. You should work for NME, you'd fit right in."

"I'm harsh?" Matt said incredulously. "You just suggested that I work for NME and you call me harsh? You're a fucking joke, mate."

Dom laughed, throwing his head back ever so slightly. "You called me a cow on steroids!" He argued back, pulling the face again. "Moo!"

A high pitched shriek of laughter burst from the smaller man and Dom giggled at his boyfriend. "Now... you... you... sound like... like... a cow!" He said between giggles, trying hard not to fall off the bench that they were currently sat on.

Dom put his arm around him and pulled him closer to his chest. "Shush, you crazy man, calm down." Matt hiccuped, setting off another wave of giggles between the pair.

"Oh my God, Dom. You should have seen your face... It was all like..." Matt scrunched up his face till it was weirdly distorted and held it for a few seconds, before giving in to a fresh burst of laughter.

Dom shushed him again and grinned. "You're crazy." He said simply. "Bonkers."

"No, you're the crazy one."

Dom frowned. "Why's that?"

"You put up with me." Dom's frown melted and he smiled softly at the adorable guitarist next to him. He pressed his lips against Matt's for sweet kiss, then pulled away, smiling serenely. "What was that for?" Matt asked him, blue eyes shining.

"For being you."

As they continued their dysfunctional conversation, that kept prompting fresh waves of giggles, one statement kept reoccurring.

"I love you."


End file.
